Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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