He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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