is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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