what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
And then he peed in my hair
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