we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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