Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
What a dumb baby whore.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize