So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
