he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
