I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize