its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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