sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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