soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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