I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I AM VODKA MAN
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
