i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
