He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
