Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize