This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
