Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
