I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize