No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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