I should be sponsored by Trojan
i love accidental penises.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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