C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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