Can Purell be used as lube?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
