I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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