Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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