you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
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he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
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BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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