alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
