party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize