Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
