At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
