I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
