I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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