I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize