You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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