i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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