you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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