You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
