they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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