he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
