Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
sarcasm needs its own font
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
