WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
