Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
