: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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