I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
