you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
