We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
