i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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