I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
