i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
