Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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