i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
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Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.