Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.