Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
What's dad's email?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.