Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days