yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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