what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
