so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
