how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just had sex bonerless
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
