Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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