I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
