1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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