Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
