I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
