Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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