I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
