I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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