I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
