I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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