Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
