So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
