I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
