Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
