Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
